The Holidays

This past weekend I went home to visit with my family for our Christmas.  People may have been wondering why I did Christmas 10days early, but when you work emergency management you have to do family time when you can.  My dad worked as a police officer and a firefighter for most of my life and we've always had to manage holidays and big family things around his days off, and now the family is doing it for me.

I had a good time at home.  It was a pleasent trip.  That's saying something because most of the time my sister and I get into it and have a huge fight that gets the parents involved and all around it just makes for a bad trip. However, that was not the case this time around.  It was an enjoyable visit home.  I got some good Christmas presents (maybe not all the ones that I wanted, BUT they were wonderful). 

I am working this coming weekend, which is Christmas if you didn't know.  I will be stuck in a room with 12 people who will be glaring at me because I decided that it's not financially responsible to participate in the pot luck Sunday dinner (read that as cooking for about 20-30 people).  Even doing finger foods of the cheapest kind it is just too much money to spend when things are as tight as they are.  Oh well though.  I am going to do what is right by me and my situation and not be bullied or guilt tripped into participating.  I will have declicious left overs that I will nom on my own while others are eating finger foods that sit out on tables for hours and hours on end.

I do believe that this place is slowly killing my soul, and I am looking for another job. 

On a lighter note I do hope everyone has a happy holiday season and that time with friends and family is good and that all loved ones are doing well.  George and I will be working this weekend, but still able to spend nights together so we shall celebrate a Christmas for us on Christmas and then when Autumn (his 8yo daughter) gets back to town from visiting her grandparents we will celebrate Christmas with her on Monday.

Happy 4 Months

Today, George and I have been together for 4 months.  It feels like we have been together for longer than that. I love him, and hope to have many many years with him. 

I love you, George!!





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In other news... Today is day 10 that my back has been ailing me.  On Thursday last I was making the bed (we all know that sleeping on fresh sheets is WONDERFUL) with George, and instead of moving one foot back and turning my hips and then bending over I just decided to bend over.  Bad idea.  I pulled something, or tweaked something, or slipped something. I did something, and it was BAD!  Immediately, I was bawling.  George got me an ice pack and took care of me that night, and has taken care of me since--picking up clothes from the floor, helping me get dressed because putting pants on with a messed up lower back is very difficult.  He has been so wonderful to me over the past 10 days in helping me do things, taking me places, etc.

I am going to go to the doctor's tomorrow to see if there's something that they can do for me.  I went the day after I pulled or tweaked or slipped whatever it was that I did (conviently enough for me I had a doctor's appointment that Friday).  The doctor last Friday prescribed muscle relaxers and pain relievers.  Well, I taken a few of the muscle relaxers and whenever I have taken them I wake up (because they KNOCK ME OUT) feeling like I've been drugged.  I had a headache, my muscles were stiff--in addition to my messed up back--and it's just not good juju.  The pain relievers have helped SOME to take the edge of the pain off, but they never took the pain away.  So, hopefully, tomorrow the doctor will be able to help me.

Last night when we went to bed George wasn't feeling well, and this morning he woke up and then threw up.  He doesn't feel well at all, and yet he came to work.  I think I will be taking care of him soon, and I will happily cater to his needs.  I love him, and that's what he's done for me and I will do it for him whenever he doesn't feel well.

Sometimes...

Sometimes, I wonder why I dream as big as I do.  I have HUGE ideas of what I would like to do for my life, my friends, my family, and sometimes random strangers in the street. Then I step back and realize that these dreams won't come true, at least not in the way that I want them to. I would have to be a billionaire in order for those dreams and aspirations to come true, and billionaire I am not.

Sometimes, I would just love to have the house of my dreams, and spend the day in the kitchen baking and cooking for the friends and family that will be coming over later for our monthly gathering.

Sometimes, I just want to pack a backpack and take off to some place that I've never been in the world.  Or, to pack up the car and just start driving and figure out where I want to go when I get there.

Sometimes, I want all of my money worries to go away.  The debt to be paid off (I'm not in that deep, but it's deep enough for a 24 year old).

Sometimes, I just want to curl up on the couch and read my book with a hot cup of tea or coffee or cider.

Sometimes, I just don't want to do anything.

All the time, though, I want to be able to provide for my friends and family.  To help them out when they need it and to make them feel loved, because they are.

All the time, I want to feel comfortable with my finances and not have to think about what I'm going to cut out this pay period.

All the time, I have to work overtime to pay bills and make ends meet and to barely have enough for a drink at the bar (not NEEDED in terms of survival, but needed in terms of sanity).



One day, I will have what I want.

Today, I wanted to complain about what I have, eventhough I have no reason to complain.  I have a full time job, insurance, a family that loves me, friends that love me, a boyfriend that loves, plenty of food in the pantry, and a good roof over my head.  I really have no room to complain, but I would like to have all of my bills paid off and have a good savings account balance (I'm working, literally, on both of those).

Ok, that's my bitching for the day.

Sad Day

I have just learned that a very dear friend of mine has been put into hospice care after a long battle with cancer.  It started out as breast cancer and that metastasized into so much more.  She doesn't have a lot of time left.  Today is a very sad day.

Ugh...

So I overslept this morning, and was awakened by the call from one of the assistant supervisors at work asking where I was.  I had turned my 0530 alarm off, and then just disregarded the other two alarms that I had set... and one was set to PM and not AM. Awesome.  It's great to wake up to the phone call asking where you are... Actually, I didn't even let her get that far. I realized what number was calling and answered the phone with, "I'm sorry! I'll be there ASAP!"

Being jarred awake like that SUCKS! Then you're shaky and off for the next few hours, or sometimes, the rest of the day is messed up because you feel like you can never catch up!

Finally, a cup of coffee and a glass of iced tea into the day and I was back to feeling like a relatively normal human being.

Tonight I am going to cook some hamburger rice casserole for my darling boyfriend, and we're going to catch up on some TV shows like Terra Nova.

As mentioned in my previous post I have been working A LOT recently, and I was finally able to have a few days off.  My first day off was spent sleeping and laying on the couch.  I know it's lazy to do that, but it really is just what someone needs sometimes!  Four days off were great.  I got to spend two of them with my "worse half" as one of our friends puts it (the female is the better half and the male is the worse half).  During one of those days I went with him to sign the lease to his new apartment, and then we went to check it out and move the bedroom set that he bought for his daughter (I found a GREAT deal for him).  It's a really nice apartment.  Vaulted ceilings, big closets, cute balcony.  This is finally the first step in us finally being able to be us. To be together without side stepping around someone else. Tomorrow is a big day for us as well.  While I do have to work tomorrow I will be going to his apartment (he's moving everything in tomorrow), and I will meet his daughter.  She's met me once before, and from everything that he's told me she already likes me, but I can't help but be nervous about meeting her.  I want her to like me.

Tuesday will be a day full of adventure and excitement! (This is when we need a *sarcasm font*.)

 I have an endoscopy scheduled for Tuesday.  Due to the weird, and sometimes pretty excruciating, abdominal pains I've been having the gastrointestinal doc wants to do an endoscopy on me to see if I possibly have an ulcer in my pouch.  I hope I don't.  I also had an x-ray done last week to make sure that there wasn't a residual gallstone in the little blip of a duct that is still there from the removal, and they found that my intestines are a little blocked.  So, literally, I am full of shit. HA! The GI doc has had me drinking Miralax to help with that, and an antacid just in case I do have an ulcer to help start the healing on it (if it's there).  On Tuesday I'll have the full schpeil (yeah, spelled THAT wrong, but whatever) on what's wrong with me, and hopefully we'll get this abdominal pain taken care of once and for all.

Now I'm just waiting on my appendix to go out.  Seems like for the past two years mid-July to mid-August my body has decided to PAIN ME and send me to the hospital.  First it was a kidney stone in 2010, and this year it was my gallbladder.  Next year it just makes sense that my appendix will go out; though, I hope it doesn't.  Medical bills are expensive!

OH! Random thought just now... I'm trying to get into couponing... We'll see how THAT goes.

ALSO!! Anyone who LOOOOVES pumpkin, and pumpkin flavored desserts should try my pumpkin cheesecake, and the "pumpkindoodles" (pumpkin snickerdoodles) that I made the other day.  Holy crow were they both DELICIOUS!!  Next I'm going to make a halloween cake... Or some variation of this... With sprinkles!

Musings

So, just to go ahead and get it out there today is working day 4 of 7.  I worked this past weekend, and it really wasn't bad so I have no complaints.  I was REALLY hoping that today I would NOT get called in, but that didn't last long as I was told yesterday to go ahead and come in and then this morning when I woke up I realized that the acting night supervisor had sent out the "call for help" email... aka the "if you can work overtime on dayshift PLEASE call" email, so I know I'm here for the day.  I was nice enough to help out a coworker and picked up overtime for tomorrow so that she could go on vacation... Now I'm wishing I hadn't done that, but it's too late now.  Not to mention I could use the extra cash what with a roadtrip to Florida at the end of the month and then Christmas "around the corner" after that.

October is a messed up work month for me anyway.  I am working these 7 days, then have a day off, working 1, on call, working 2, off 3, working 3, off 1, working 3, off 1, working 3, off 1, work 1 (trying to get these last two switched so it would be working 4), and then off the Florida. In October I have counted that the only Saturday I will have NOT working will be the one where I'm out of town, and I will have two Friday's not working, and no Sundays not working besides when I'm in Florida.  It's a crazy schedule, I did warn you about that.  When I come back I'll have a 5K to run, then work 3, off 1, work 3, and then back to a relatively normal November schedule (but at that point it's halfway through the month).  Oh man... it's going to be hectic, and those days off are tentative as I might try to pick up overtime.  There will be more overtime available as one of my coworkers has had her baby (or is so close to having the baby you can just say she's had the baby).  So I'll probably fill in a few of those multiple "off" days with overtime if I can--it's hard to come by, have to take it while it's available.

I've already told my parents that I'm going to be working on Thanksgiving (I've already told the supervisors that I want to be first in line for overtime on Thanksgiving), and Christmas (my squad is working Christmas again this year) so they're prepared for that.   I am also doing my best to spend time with my boy whenever I can.  I love spending days with him, and for the next month or so that is going to be hard to do but I'm going to make it work.

Ok enough about work stuff for now.  I have talked too much about it already, and have probably bored what few readers I do have to the point where if you've made it this far in the blog you are a TROOPER! 

I want to do a fall cleaning of my apartment.  I have WAY too much clutter and I need to fix that.  What I would LOVE is a full 3 day weekend, but as you read before I don't have one of those for quite a while.  So, I'm going to try to do a little here, and a little there, and just work on decluttering my shit.  This is when I wish I had a yard in a good neighborhood so I could just have a yard sale. But, instead, I think I will either donate goods to GoodWill or I will see what I can get for some things at a consignment type shop (I don't think I'll get much if anything, but something is better than nothing--sometimes).